Here’s the thing: I have always had this notion that almost every extended family above a certain size will inevitably have at least one queer person by simple matter of statistics.
My family is actually kinda large-ish: I have two siblings with partners, two aunts, an uncle and two cousins, one also partnered, on my father’s side. None of them is out as any kind of queer. I have also met/know about my father’s cousins and their respective partners and children, i.e. my second cousins. To the best of my knowledge they are all cis, straight and monogamous too although there is obviously more uncertainty there because I hardly know them.
On my mother’s side I have two aunts, two uncles and 4 cousins, each with one opposite gender partner and two children. Also no queer person to my knowledge. although the kids range in age from 15 to 5 so there is still a whole range of possibilities of ‘doesn’t know yet’ , ‘questioning’, ‘queer but not out’ to pick from, so who knows.
From a generational perspective I suppose it’s also entirely possible that an older relative (I mean one of my uncles is 70) is a closeted bi/pansexual in a straight marriage or even a closeted transperson but I have no way of knowing that.
Point is: that is a whole bunch of people. And I have wondered how it’s possible that everyone in my extended family is so…regular. Straight, cis and in a presumably monogamous marriage or at least aspiring and/or pretending to be in one (we do have garden variety cheating and 2 divorces). You already see where this is going do you? Yeah.
I’M the queer one in my family.
I’m polyamorous and questioning my gender identity. I’m at a point where I am considering to possibly maybe consider myself queer. And I look the part…or at least unconventional enough. The last family photo has me in a suit & tie with a shaved head (I’m a woman for those who don’t know me personally). If there is a queer person in the family, it is ME.
I have a weirdly hard time wrapping my head around this.